Last month, I was talking with my boss, Rod Bergen, who is president of Power to Change. We were discussing a number of topics, and at one point I shared with him how anxious I was about my fundraising efforts. Several donors told me that they needed to reduce or drop their contributions this year, and I was feeling the weight of not raising enough for our ministry.
In the midst of my whining, Rod asked, “So what are you trusting God for?”
I told him to shut up.
I loved that Rod challenged me with the title of my book. I can tell story after story of God coming through for me, providing necessary funding in just the right time. I have seen God open amazing doors for our ministry, change lives that I never thought possible, and answer specific prayers time after time. But I can very easily descend into a whiny, fearful, complaining wimp, focusing more on my difficult circumstances than the awesome God I serve.
One of my Biblical heroes is Elijah. What an amazing man of faith! He bravely stood up to 450 prophets of Baal, and showed everybody that God is the all-powerful ruler of the universe. And then this happened shortly after that incredible victory
“And Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself traveled on a day’s journey into the wilderness. He sat down under a broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”
I can SO relate with this man! Eventually, Elijah was refreshed by God, and he was able to get back in the battle. God used him to mentor Elisha, and then have one of the most spectacular departures from this earth, as he was taken to heaven in a chariot of fire.
I am reminded that I am frail, that I am sinful, and that I will occasionally fail and want to quit. But I am completely loved by God, and he is pleased to use me, a broken vessel, to accomplish his purposes. So, I need to keep asking myself, “What am I trusting God for?”